Thursday, October 20, 2011

Why blog about how awesome Maine is when you can rant instead?

Sorry I've been out of the picture for so long, everyone!
I definitely let blogging inertia get the better of me, to the point that I've done so many cool things in Maine that I should blog about, that the backlog is absolutely paralyzing. So I'm just going to ignore all the stuff I should be writing aboutand say in short that Maine is awesome, the food and outdoor opportunities are amazing, and I've been taking full advantage of them. This summer was temperate and beautiful and with the exception of a few gross cold rainy days (like today) this fall has also been gorgeous so far. Whew! Glad to have that out of the way!

Now I'm going to blog about something that has been weighing heavily on my mind. Sweatpants. You see, I don't own any. And on gross, rainy days like today, it's proving to be a problem. I own tons of hooded sweatshirts and fleeces, but aside from a pair of oversized trackpants from New Zealand (courtesy of the husband, who is objecting to the title "Dr. Hubby") and a pair of fleece pants (also slightly too big) I got on super sale at the North Face Outlet in Freeport (how can I pass up anything North Face for $20?)- I have nothing to keep my bottom half warm.

I was looking online for sweatpants and I realized exactly why I don't have sweatpants. They are ridiculous nowdays. The most striking example of this is, of course, the Victoria Secret Pink line of sweatpants. For $42 you can wrap your butt in $2 worth of jersey fleece, decorated with enough hearts to make cupid say "That's a bit much." There's also an $80 dollar option for all you One Percenters who'd like to add $5 worth of sequins to one of your legs.
I thought that this was the height of misplaced vanity until I realized that Abercrombie and Fitch have an entire page devoted to detailing the 6 different fits of women's sweatpants that they offer. I'm sorry, "super skinny" sweatpants aren't sweatpants- they're really ugly leggings that you can't wear with anything b/c they've got a freaking drawstring messing up the line at the waist. And for a mere $40 to $70 (depending on cut), they can be yours. They don't even look warm.

Look, I'm basically giving up by even shopping online for sweatpants. My google search history makes me look fat right now. I don't care how flattering you try to make an inherently unflattering style of pants- I'm still not ever going to wear them in public. And chances are, if I'm in sweatpants I'm also going to be under a blanket and therefore not worried about how my butt looks- I just want it to be warm! I just want plain grey or black pants that don't have any writing on them, don't cost an arm and a leg, have an elastic waist and banded legs, and keep me reasonably warm. I've resigned myself to the fact that they'll make me look like my grandmother. I'm okay with that.

I considered ordering a pair of Cabela's sweatpants. The logo is fairly non-annoying, the brand loyalty would appeal to the husband and at $30 they're comparitively a steal- but I really want some truly hideous old fashioned banded sweatpants. If I'm going to give up, I'm going to do it with flair! (More practically, I'm ruining the hems on all of my pants b/c they're too long- curse my shortness!)

And then it occurred to me that the problem was that I just hadn't sunk low enough to find the perfect pair of sweatpants. So I googled "Walmart" and there they are- exactly what I'm looking for. A 2 pack of boys XL Hanes Sweatpants for $9. I seriously think I'm going to have to make a trip out to South Portland to get them this weekend.

Do you like the fancy pants sweatpants, or are you, like myself, a sweatpants purist?


  1. Being more experienced as a lethargic Northerner (and also totally bored at work), let me suggest: Flannel pajama pants. They are comfy, warm, and completely unflattering. Don't worry, they don't have to be plaid; mine are grey. Although, I guess then you run the risk of being that person who works from home in her pajamas.

    By the way, your husband sure does whine a lot. If he doesn't want to be known as "Dr. Hubby," then maybe he needs to stop curing the sick.

  2. Good thought! My current flannel pj's feature owls wearing christmas themed night hats though.... I may need a less festive pair so I can retain a shred of dignity while working from home in my jammies! :)

  3. I was going to tell you to find an athletic store that sells Russell brand stuff. Cheap and plain. Sounds like Hanes has you covered, though.

    I have a pair of cropped sweatpants from Old Navy I've never worn. My mom bought them for me when I was going to Montana. They seem pretty useless.

  4. I have these in the non-fleece regular version and the maternity version and I ADORE them. They are making the end of my pregnancy COMFORTABLE in so many ways. If I weren't pregnant I'd order these fleece ones in a heartbeat. Just another option (not the cheapest but not $80, either)... Stay warm, Maine friend! xoxo