One thing about getting married again that I'm still torn about is whether or not to change my name. I don't like to write about my divorce very much, but one issue that was particularly emotionally charged for me was how long it took for me to get my name changed back to my maiden name. For whatever reason, it was a huge ordeal and I still have that old name on my cell phone and cable accounts because they make name changes particularly difficult. I felt really strongly about getting my maiden name back and found the difficulties in changing it back to be really upsetting. I still feel disgusted when I see my ex's last name on my cable and phone bills.I came to value my name as something that was mine because I worked so hard to get it back and I'm not really psyched about the idea of changing it again. I've used my name professionally for a number of years and it is also on both of my diplomas- I think it would be especially difficult to try to go by a new name when potentially applying for jobs because all of my references know me by my maiden name.
On the other hand, it kind of goes against my sense of fairness not to change my name this time. My darling fiance doesn't care one way or the other, as long as our children have his name rather than a hyphen (which is fine by me). So he, at least, isn't concerned with the fairness of the act. (He does joke that the people at our kids' school won't let me pick up the children without calling him-haha.)
I've been putting off making a decision because I can't change it until after the honeymoon anyway due to my passport being in my maiden name. I'm kind of leaning towards not legally changing my name and using it professionally but not minding if people address me socially with my darling fiance's last name. Hopefully this won't cause undue confusion.
What I really would like is advice from other women who haven't taken their husband's names. Did you have any complications dealing with things like signing loans together, getting on each other's insurance, etc....?
I kept my maiden name since it would always be my "professional" name and going by two names would just be a hassle (whatever name you license under in pharmacy school is always your professional name because the board of pharmacy is obviously easily confused). It's never been an issue, but David had to resign himself to being occasionally called by my name.
ReplyDelete