Name Change

One thing about getting married again that I'm still torn about is whether or not to change my name. I don't like to write about my divorce very much, but one issue that was particularly emotionally charged for me was how long it took for me to get my name changed back to my maiden name. For whatever reason, it was a huge ordeal and I still have that old name on my cell phone and cable accounts because they make name changes particularly difficult. I felt really strongly about getting my maiden name back and found the difficulties in changing it back to be really upsetting. I still feel disgusted when I see my ex's last name on my cable and phone bills.
I came to value my name as something that was mine because I worked so hard to get it back and I'm not really psyched about the idea of changing it again. I've used my name professionally for a number of years and it is also on both of my diplomas- I think it would be especially difficult to try to go by a new name when potentially applying for jobs because all of my references know me by my maiden name.
On the other hand, it kind of goes against my sense of fairness not to change my name this time. My darling fiance doesn't care one way or the other, as long as our children have his name rather than a hyphen (which is fine by me). So he, at least, isn't concerned with the fairness of the act. (He does joke that the people at our kids' school won't let me pick up the children without calling him-haha.)
I've been putting off making a decision because I can't change it until after the honeymoon anyway due to my passport being in my maiden name. I'm kind of leaning towards not legally changing my name and using it professionally but not minding if people address me socially with my darling fiance's last name. Hopefully this won't cause undue confusion.

What I really would like is advice from other women who haven't taken their husband's names. Did you have any complications dealing with things like signing loans together, getting on each other's insurance, etc....?

I almost forgot!!

The most random thing about my bachelorette party is that when we picked our car up from the Ritz, I saw Shaquille O'Neal! So cool!
(Also, I'm wearing 2 inch heels in this picture.)

Happy Camper

I'm going camping for the first time ever this weekend! (In fact, I'm blogging when I should be loading up the car.) I'm actually fairly terrified of sleeping with nothing between the great outdoors and myself but soft tent walls, but I guess there's no time like the present to conquer my fears. Also, I love hiking so I'm looking forward to doing some of that. The best part of going out into the wilderness this weekend is that the wilderness is going to be a lot cleaner than my apartment. The charm has struck again! My entire bathroom is being ripped out and replaced because the tub (and a concrete slab that was inexplicably poured below it to level out the floor) has apparently been sinking through the rotten wood below it. Our handyman has expressed wonder that I didn't fall through the ceiling and die. Awesome.
So anyway. Camping is probably less scary than bathing in my house.
Wish me luck!

Peril

I am a nail biter. I don't bite my nails every day (more like once a month), but my habit is still pretty awful. In my case, I am fully capable of growing my nails out, but once they are long and pretty- they are in imminent peril. Sometimes I bite them out of boredom or nervousness, but what usually happens is that one nail will inevitably break. Of course, it will break when I have no access to a nail file or clippers, and I'll bite it to make it as smooth as I can for the time being. But once I bite that nail, I want to bite all of my other nails too so that they'll be "even." This of course leads to a downward spiral ending with me having gross nubs for fingernails.
Right now, my nails are nice and long and I'd really like to break the cycle. I think I might try to get a manicure today if I have time.
I'm kind of busy today because I'm getting a "trial" wedding updo after work. Today's gross weather is horrendous for hair- cold, rainy, and windy, which is perfect because if my updo can withstand this weather, it can withstand anything! I am also attending Tulane's Med Prom, so my hair and I will be out and about. Other plans this weekend are to run a few miles (I'm tapering since my marathon is in 9 days! Eek!), go to the Vietnamese New Year's Celebration in New Orleans East, and get croissants with Steph and Sarah on Sunday. Should be fun!

Does anyone have any good tips on how I can stop biting my nails?

Things are Looking Up

This evening when I was about to walk my dogs, I found the sapphire pendant from the necklace I lost! It was in my stairwell but there was no sign of the chain, oddly enough.
I'm taking this to be a good sign!

The Longest Week Ever

Last week felt longer than the entire month of January for me. So while I'm absolutely shocked that February starts tomorrow, I'm looking back on things that happened last weekend and genuinely feeling like they were 3 or 4 weeks ago. Does anyone else ever feel like that?
Last weekend was actually fairly lousy. I ran 20 miles last Saturday (the longest run in my marathon training plan) but hurt my foot in the process. That Sunday, I somehow lost the sapphire necklace that my darling fiance gave me for our anniversary this year. At the beginning of the week, I found out about a bunch of significant changes that are taking place at my work as well. Without getting into a ton of detail- these changes are likely good ones, but it's going to be an adjustment. (And we all know how I feel about change in general! It keeps me up at night, to say the least.) The rest of the week was better, but I had to fly to Houston for work, which is always pretty tiring, and I spent the week feeling really frustrated by my foot, which definitely didn't love all the walking through airports I did!
I thought that the foot situation was looking up and I ran 9 miles yesterday without too much pain and I felt pretty positive that I'll be able to do 26 miles by Feb. 13. Then, of course, my house attacked me. Somehow in the process of me closing the door to my porch, the big glass doorknob fell off the door and landed right on the joint of my big toe. I've got a lovely bruise and my foot hurts quite a bit when I walk on it too much (3 cheers for my desk job!)- I'm guessing the run and the doorknob are equal partners in that pain. I'm curious to see how painful it will be tomorrow.
For the record, I still think that I'll be able to run the marathon, but I'm also thinking that my foot isn't going to feel very good afterward.
Of course, there's been plenty of things to enjoy about the past week or so as well. I've had a lot of fun with my friends, my darling fiance is finally done traveling for med school, and we've gotten a ton of work done on the honeymoon planning front. I only have 2 hotels left to book! (I still have to figure out bus tickets and decide about things to see and places to eat, but I feel better having an itinerary and places to stay lined up!) We're also close to finalizing our wedding food, and have selected the attire for the groomsmen and our wedding rings!
I've also started brushing up on my Spanish using the Rosetta Stone. I did the first lesson of level 1 last night and while it's a little easy for me, I think it's a good idea to start from the beginning. I'll try to do a review of the program after I've worked my way through it. My thoughts for now are that it's pretty engaging and very visual (I matched individual words and phrases that were printed on the screen and read aloud to pictures), but I'm confused about why the Rosetta Stone thinks that I need to learn the work for "elephant." (It's elefante.)

How was your weekend?

Flight Safety

Is it just me, or is this Delta Flight Safety Video oddly dystopian?



It just seems like she moonlights as a lottery announcer on The Island or something....

Looking Forward

I've found that obsessing over what I'm going to pack for my honeymoon is way more fun than actually planning my honeymoon. Unsurprisingly, my obsession is mainly about what shoes I'll bring. Obviously my comfortable Naturalizers will be coming with me, but I also want a pair of sandals that are magically cute, dressy, and comfortable when walking long distances (oh and cheap too). I'm also harboring a mild longing for a pair of Sanuk's but I think they would look too sloppy and "American" to take to Europe.
I think my darling fiance is doing something similar. Despite not knowing where we'll be living next year, he's sending me links to apartments in a couple of our favorite cities. Fantasy apartment shopping is way more fun than residency interviews!
I wanted to blog about this because I felt weird having three posts in a row about king cake. Of course, I promptly realized that I blogged about my Naturalizers last week. I may have to change the name of my blog to Sugar and Shoes.
As far as other stuff that's going on- I still need to enter the race, but I'm pretty much officially running the Mardi Gras Marathon in February, I finally chose my hairpiece for my wedding (a bejeweled ribbon headband thingy), and I'm supposed to be trying Ethiopian food tonight.

How do you procrastinate?

A bit of a rant

I watched this video on the Today Show website this morning. I clicked on the article (entitles "Is it your clothes that are making you look fat?") because I do sometimes feel like the cut of my clothes aren't the most flattering (not "fattening" necessarily, but just unflattering, if that makes sense.) I thought "Hey, maybe I'll pick up some tips for a more flattering silhouette."
No such luck.
I'll save you the time of watching the video (although I'll admit that watching Hoda and Kathy Lee huffing away on a treadmill during the segment was kind of amusing) and say that all they did was tell you to wear a good bra, spanx, tights, and a jersey dress that cinches in at the rib cage.
Rocket science? No.
Something I've never heard of before? Also No.
Comfortable? Heck No.
Worth taking time to write a whole damn book on the wearing of layers and layers of spandex under ones clothes? NO.

(They also dressed a lady in a leaopard print dress and a gold chain necklace and called it "work appropriate" which I find a little baffling.)

Does anyone else hate fashion advice that basically boils down to "Suffer or you're not doing it right?"

Bye Bye 2010!

I don't know how people manage to blog regularly over the holidays! The theme of the holiday for me has been "Shelly is tired." I'm definitely looking forward to the new year, if only because it will give me a chance to go to bed early and eat lots of vegetables!
Things to talk about since I last blogged: Dinner at Upperline was delicious and it was great to see Bonnie and Gabe again. I spent Christmas with my parents, saw the Pinta and the Nina (excuse the lack of a tilde) which were docked in Biloxi, and recieved an awesome quilt made from all my old Sorority T-shirts from my Mom. I met up with Kristi and Colin in Hattiesburg and walked 6 miles on the Longleaf Trace while chatting and catching up with them. (I'd have preferred an actual trail to hike, but I think that walking and talking definitely beats sitting in a coffee shop or a restaurant all day!)
I get to see two more friends soon. My friend Daniel (and his friend Shauyi) are staying with me over the weekend for NYE, and I get to see my friend Ginny in Baton Rouge for brunch in a couple of weeks. It's definitely been a holiday for catching up with people I haven't seen in a while!
As for resolutions, I'm not sure I have any formal ones. I didn't do very well on my resolutions last year (I think I resolved to go to the eye doctor, the dentist, and to stay in shape and only succeeded on the last resolution- I'm gross, I know...but at least I floss all the time!)
There are a few things I'd like to do in 2011, of course. Get hitched and go to Spain are obviously on the top of my list, but I'm also thinking about running a Marathon in Feb., and in light of all of the life changes that may or may not be happening this year (getting married, and, depending on where my darling fiance ends up doing his residency, moving and finding a new job) I'd just like to handle anything that comes my way with grace. (Which obviously won't happen because I am, as ever, a stress ball.) I'd also like to keep up my good eating and fitness habits, and not get too behind on wedding planning.

What are you looking forward to in 2011?

Mississippi Blasphemies

I don't keep the fact that I am a terrible Southerner a secret. Here are some of the the blasphemous thoughts that have crossed my mind this week.

Why do I need 3 deviled egg trays when I have never actually made deviled eggs?

I don't need to put on makeup just to run to the grocery store, do I?

Am I the only one who realizes that Faith Hill's Mississippi Girl is just a countrified rip off of Jenny from the Block?

And somewhere, my mother is hanging her head in shame.....

Feel free to add to my list of Southern Blasphemies!

Comets

It's kind of funny how many comet names would make trendy childrens' names.
I particularly think that "Arend, Biela, Brooks, Clark, Daniel, Faye, Finlay, Gale, Gunn, Halley, Hartley, Helin, Hill (I went to high school with a Hill), Howell, Levy, Lovas, Maury, Ory, Russel, Swift, Swan, Taylor, Tempel, and Wolf" sounds like more like a Kindergarten class roll than a selection of comets.

DO you like trendy names or do you prefer traditional ones?

Goody Two Shoes

In the past two days, I've voted, gotten my flu shot, had my oil changed, worked out, and and eaten plenty of veggies. I've been so responsible! Bleh! :)
As far as my recovery from the half marathon, it couldn't have been better. I swam on Sunday like I planned, then spent the afternoon walking around the quarter and tailgating for the Saints game. I though I had probably over done it in terms of being on my feet so I took another Epsom Salt bath and I had almost no pain on Monday, which would normally be my worst day in terms of soreness.
Sunday was a lot of fun. I got to see my friends from college, Belmont and Brittany, who I haven't seen in a couple of years. I also sold my costume for the day (a pair of cat ears that were really cute, but at least 4 years old) to a random lady at Pat O' Brian's for $20 (which was way more than I paid for them!) The coolest thing was that my friend Jon won the costume contest at Pat O's and got $100!
He was teen wolf!

Polka Dots

I got a new headband. :) In this picture you can also see one of the two lovely walls of windows that make up my little cube. It's the little things.

Rough

This week has been pretty brutal. My trip to Houston began with me getting up at 5am on Tues. to fly out there. The meeting I had on Tues. (which was the only reason I flew out on Tues. instead of Wed.) was rescheduled for Thurs. at 7:30 am practically the moment I stepped off the plane. Otherwise work was pretty uneventful. I had sushi for lunch, and pizza with goat cheese and prosciutto from Bistro Provence for dinner. Yum! I also had the good fortune of getting upgraded to a suite the size of my apartment. I had to make a point to sit in the living room area, at the dining table, and in the chairs in the bedroom. Then I sat around and watched HBO's Bored to Death, which was really funny. I'm sad that I can't see full episodes online though because they only played the first three episodes when I was watching.
Wednesday morning, I showed up for my 8:30 am appointment only to get an email asking for it to be postponed till 9. Since I was already at the office building, someone else let me in and told me that they thought the person I was meeting was actually in New Orleans unexpectedly and that I would have to sit in his office and teleconference with him. I was not happy to hear this, but I set up my computer and waited until 9 to find out what was up. Fortunately, the person who told me about New Orleans was wrong- but I spent 30 minutes being a very unhappy camper! Wed. I got a lot of work done, and met a cool couple at dinner in the hotel restaurant. They had been married for 55 years and had set foot on every continent. That is my new life goal. :)
Thurs. morning I had my appointment at 7:30, followed by an appointment with the person I was working with on Wed. to finish our work. As I was walking into the building, I found out that my 7:30 appointment was canceled. Is anyone starting to see a pattern here? I ended up having the meeting I was supposed to have, just with someone else on the same team, but I would rather have just slept in. I don't sleep very well on work trips, especially when I have to get up early b/c I wake up every hour and check the clock. Aside from that, work went well and I was able to get a ton of work accomplished. I left for the airport on time for my 5:55 flight. Unfortunately, the flight ended up being delayed until 7:30, which meant I walked through the door to my house at 9. What made things even worse is that my darling fiance called me when I was stuck in the airport around 5:30 to tell me that one of the feral cats who lives under our house has a broken leg (he had to leave for night float and couldn't catch her in time, plus he went straight to the airport from work and will be in NYC until Sunday). Of course it's Mo, the nicest one. I just sat in the airport and thought about how much it would suck to have an untreated broken leg and hated the fact that I couldn't get home sooner so I could try to catch her. I couldn't find her last night,but she was around for breakfast this morning. I fed her some turkey I'd brought to lure her into a box so I can take her to a vet. She ate the turkey out of my hand, but ran away when I tried to pet her, which is something she generally allows. So I have to get her trust up enough so that I can catch her. Of course, she's so not stupid. She sat just out of reach under the house, looking at me like "I see that you have brought down a big crate and are wearing work gloves and a denim jacket so I won't scratch you. Good thing I'm cat enough to steal turkey and still get away from you even with only 3 legs!" Then she disappeared further under the house and I haven't been able to find her since then. I am taking a little comfort in the fact that she is eating and getting around. But I hope she'll stay relatively okay until I can catch her. I'm so afraid she is going to get sick or be attacked by an animal or just get worse.
Poor kitty. Hopefully I will be able to get her at dinner time.
Of course, I had to tell my boss that I was going to be late due to attempts at cat catching this morning and when I got in, he kindly asked me if I was ok. Which made me cry at work. Ugh.
On the plus side, Tyler and Kate (my soon to be brother in law and his lovely girlfriend) sent Halloween/Engagement cookies to my office, which was perfect because I have never needed a cookie more!
In other happy news, congratulations to my friend Xiujuan who gave birth to baby Michelle this week and to my friend Bonnie who defended her dissertation!! Actually I think Xiujuan defended as well (if not, she will be defending soon!). Three cheers for my PhD friends!!
As for the rest of the day, I need to clean the house because our friend Ryan is coming in town and staying for a few days, and the house is in it's usual state for a Friday- a complete mess! I am also going to get groceries I think because I have to run 11 miles tomorrow and I'd rather not go to the store after my run. Other than that I am staying in because I am wiped out. I took a nap when I got home from work but it just made me feel more exhausted.
Sorry to be less cheerful than usual, but it's been a rough few days.

A year in review

This morning as I was driving to work (sans radio) I was thinking about everything I've done as a 27 year old woman. I realized what a great year it's been for me! Here are a few of the things I've accomplished:

1. Wrote my first novel
2. Continued to work at a job I love
3. Went to Maine (and did a lot of traveling in general)
4. Continued to live happily with my boyfriend (and pets)
5. Ran my first (of many) race which was further than I have ever run
6. Got into really good shape
8. Started a new blog

And I still have a week left! Who know's what else I'll get done? (*cough* get a car Tuesday hopefully *cough*) :)

Updated on (8/11/09)- I did get a car before I turned 28!!!

Shopping

I want to go shopping!!! I don't think that I am at all atypical in the sense that I am eternally unsatisfied with my wardrobe. However, I think that my dissatisfaction has increased since I've started buying a lot of my clothes online. Going to the mall is very tiring and annoying (especially when I'm shopping by myself), and shopping online is very convenient- but I think that when I shop in person, my clothes just fit and look better. So I have resolved to stop buying clothes online for a while to see if my wardrobe will benefit.
I am trying to wait until next month, and then go on a bit of a spree in honor of my birthday. I want a couple of pretty dresses, some bras, and some shirts to go out in.
I also need to update my work clothes a bit, but I'm planning on holding out until the fall. Then I will be needing some new dress pants and maybe a few nice long sleeve shirts.
Waiting is hard.
But really, you'd think the knowledge that I'm buying a car in a week would quiet my inner consumer.

Just What I needed to See

I read a summary of an Australian study about marriage yesterday that contained the following quote, which I found very discouraging.

"Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage."

I'd like to read the actual study because that is a pretty big blanket statement. Are they considering cases in which one or both partner(s) is (are) on their second or third marriage? Is there a difference between these two cases? Also, is there a difference between the statistics for people who are on 3rd versus 2nd marriages?
If you think about it, (judging from this statement) there are 6 different marriage combinations that could have been included in this study (1:1, 1:2, 1:3, 2:2, 2:3, and 3:3), and this single sentence regarding previously married people lumps 5/6 of them all together with this frighteningly high marriage failure rate statistic. Clearly further research needs to be done to elucidate the differences between these 5 cases if it has not already been further detailed in the study.
So now that my rational engineer's brain has picked apart this statement I'll adjourn this journal club meeting and confess that when I initially read that statement my heart sank. I am very bad about taking negative statistics way too seriously.
I get so angry about the seeming fact that having gone through the absolute hell of divorce increases my risk of going through it again. I honestly didn't do anything wrong, but I feel like I'm being punished. I never in a million years thought that my first marriage would end, but it is so hard to think about marriage in the future without worrying that I will have to get divorced again. Because let me repeat, divorce is hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. (That's not saying it wasn't the best decision I have ever made. It was. But it was also the most painful experience I have ever endured.)
I joke that I'm the patron saint of divorcee's because whenever people I know go through a breakup they look to me as an example of how to move on. I'm the very picture of post divorce success and I've made a wonderful life for myself. Ultimately though, I don't think it's possible to endure intense pain (no matter how constructive) without having a few scars.
I made the decision a long time ago to not let my fear of failure prevent me from falling in love and getting married again someday. I still believe that the institution of marriage is a good one for many reasons. However, sometimes it is very easy to feel discouraged. Articles and events in the news that trigger my fear seem to come in waves.
But this article in Salon today (be warned, it's a bit PG-13 to R, but all in all a celebration of all the good and not so good things that make marriage lovely) made me feel a little better. So thank you.
And now back to my regularly scheduled non-soul baring posts.

Driving Myself Crazy

I tend to become obsessed with whatever new goal I set for myself to the point that it consumes my every waking though. Healthy, I know. The current task at hand, shopping for a new vehicle, has started creeping into my dreams for the past two nights as well. This is getting old fast. The worst part is that I really am not enjoying car shopping at all. I don't like researching cars, I don't like dealing with car dealers, I don't like walking around in the hot sun looking at and test driving cars, and I just plain old don't like most vehicles! I am not a car girl!
I am rather fond of my beloved '97 Ford Explorer Sport. If only it would stay in good condition forever, I wouldn't think of parting with it. However, it's currently only in fair condition, and it is just a matter of time before it becomes unreliable. It is time for a new car.
Given that I must get a new car, I do want to address a few issues I have with my car. I'd like more fuel efficiency, better ease in parking (i.e. a smaller vehicle), a lower center of gravity (so I don't have to white knuckle it on the turns on the I-10) and I'd like to be able to seat 3 rather than 2 people in the backseat. I also want my new car to be safe, reliable, cute, fun to drive, and not too pricey.
I've been test driving cars for the past 2 weekends and researching for a few weeks longer than that and I'm really stressing myself out about it. I think after a test drive I have today, I may take a break from it for a few weeks. The cash for clunkers program kicks in in a couple weeks, which makes getting a new, rather than a used, car a real option for me, and even if I don't take advantage of it, more time spent waiting translates into more money saved for my down payment.
So far, I am really liking the Subaru Forester, but I haven't decided if I want a 2008 or 2009. (They underwent a significant redesign in 2009.) I drove the new one this weekend and will be driving the 2008 today.
On another subject I had the most delicious cocktail this weekend at The Swizzle Stick Bar. It was a combination of gin, lime juice and ginger beer called a Gin Gin Mule. I feel like I could drink a few of those right now. :)

Things I've spilled thus far today

1) Blackberry juice
2) Balsamic Vinaigrette
3) Hummus
4) Barbecue Sauce